Never To Be
by Akizuki Sai
Summary: Sometimes, not everything we want is ours for the taking.


I watched her from a distance, silently drinking every detail about her as she walks her way past the crowd, her bodyguards lagging behind.

Winter makes her beautifully pale and she tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear, a finely cut stone glistening from her gloved hand as the sun's rays touch its surface for the briefest of seconds. I've always thought Diamonds look wonderful on her. They sparkle just like her eyes. She has very beautiful eyes.

And from where I stood I could not see the expression of her eyes so I decided to walk towards her direction to get a better view. Just as I was about to tap her by the shoulder she turns at a corner and entered a floral shop, my hands barely running a hand on her silky tresses.

I did not follow her inside and instead watched her from the window talk with the florist. She was so graceful, very unlike the personalities seen on TV whose grace I find way too strained and forced. I've always believed that grace is something innate. It can be learned, but it's nothing close to those who are born with it, and she's a natural.

She was carrying a bouquet of cherry blossoms when she left the store, and I then again made an attempt to approach her, but her bodyguards and the passers-by made it difficult for me. And so I watched her from a distance. Twelve years changed her - and me, as well.

Who would believe that we were once lovers? I, the half-reincarnation of the most powerful sorcerer in the world, and she,the card mistress' loyal best friend. It was something the world was not prepared for. Not her mother, not Syaoran, not Touya, and not even Sakura.

"_I've always wanted Tomoyo-chan to be happy, but what about Mizuki-sensei?_" the cherry blossom once asked me.

I could not make a reply then. I had no answer. I loved the right woman, at the wrong place and at the wrong time.

But since when was it a crime to pursue happiness?

* * *

**NEVER TO BE**

**BY AKIZUKI SAI**

**Standard Disclaimers Apply**

**Dedicated to Alchemy-chan!**

I originally wanted to write a Christmas fic (and it's April already) but for some strange reason the story ended up this way. This is a one-shot. But I might make it a chaptered story when I have the time, which I don't think is anytime soon. Do tell me what you think.

To Alchemy-chan: I'm sorry it took me ages to upload this. Forgive me?

* * *

She visited a lot of places – the library, the old music room at Tomoeda elementary, the art museum and then King Penguin Park where she sat by the swings for a couple of minutes, lost in her thoughts.

It was around sunset when she dismissed her bodyguards and went to the Tsukimine Shrine.

This time I've grown impatient watching from a far and was determined to talk to her, to feel her breath close to my cheeks like always.

I miss her badly and there were many things I wanted to tell her, but just as I was to call for her by the arc of the shrine, a tall man with messy russet hair by the barren cherry tree called out for her and she sprinted her way to him.

I felt anger rush into my veins.

_What is she doing here with him? Didn't she know that I'm here?_

"Did you wait too long?" I heard her ask him.

"Not really, I just got here really early. How are you feeling?" the man asked her, cautious of her answer.

"Let's go," she murmured, avoiding the question and pressing the bouquet of flowers tightly to her chest. Without waiting for him, she rushed inside the main hall.

The man didn't look offended at all. Instead his eyes softened and he ran after her, reaching out for her hand.

This time I could no longer contain my anger and I ran pass them, my fist curled in a ball, ready to punch him straight to the face. _Traitors._

I was all set, but just as I was to hit him something stopped me from doing so.

She was crying.

"Tomoyo-chan," the man uttered, placing a hand on her shoulders.

"I-I miss him… I miss him so badly…I…" she sobbed, burying her face in his chest.

"What are you talking about? I'm here!" I exclaimed reaching out to her. But my fingers never touched her nor did she hear my voice. Like I was never there.

"I miss him…" she choked, desolately looking at the patio ahead.

I followed her gaze. It was the shrine's cemetery.

And freshly engraved by one of the granite sepulchers was a name.

Hiiragizawa Eriol.

_Somebody please tell me this is not true._


End file.
